


Too Close to Home

by FiveLeafClover



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2019-05-19 03:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14865986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveLeafClover/pseuds/FiveLeafClover
Summary: Ethan's mother is very sick, and he and his brother spent time looking after her. Then an unexpected patient comes in and Ethan finds it lays a little too close to home.





	Too Close to Home

**Author's Note:**

> [backdated fic, originally posted on fanfiction/net under the username InfinityAndOne, posted here 07/06/18]
> 
> Hello! Just a little one-shot offering here. I have too much free time now it's the summer holidays and so I stuck some music on and wrote this. I hope it's alright. If you have a second, would you mind leaving a review telling me your thoughts? (Just a note, this is an AU fic.) Anyway, on with the story!

Ethan smiled to himself. He'd been working at Holby City ED for no less than a week and he hadn't been thrown up on once. That was a record for him- something he was more than chuffed about. He was having a pretty average time there. He hadn't experienced one death of a patient under his care, he hadn't made any enemies (although he got the feeling that not many people understood his sense of humour), and he was finally finding a place that could help him achieve his dream of eventually becoming a consultant. He'd wanted to become a consultant ever since he was a child. He never expected to actually  _achieve_  this ambition, but it was slowly happening and Ethan couldn't be more pleased. Well, he couldn't be happier at work. But work was significantly different from home.

His cheerful mood, however, was dampened the night before during a shift, when his brother called him and told him that his mother was even worse. Ethan could have guessed this. She hadn't been very well the last seven  _years._ Ethan had tried looking after her all by himself, but found he couldn't manage alone, along with trying to work shifts in the medical profession. That left a couple of options. One was to put his mother in a nursing home. Ethan didn't think he could bear to do that to her. When she was well, she despised the idea. Ethan didn't think he could ever put her in a home. It would go against her wishes. Although it might have been the best place for her, it was a definite no. So, that left option two. Call his brother, Caleb.

Ethan never really got along with his brother. They would always argue over something. Their mother once told them it was like they  _looked_  for an excuse to argue. At the time, they both brushed off this idea. Looking back at it, Ethan realised that his mother may have actually been right. It didn't really matter that Cal had the green pencil when Ethan needed it. Or that Ethan used the white crayon and Cal wanted it. Petty arguments would always spark.

It wasn't the case when they grew up, though. No longer were they looking for excuses to argue- things popped up and they both disagreed with each other. As soon as Ethan called Caleb asking for help in looking after their sick mother, they argued. Cal wanted to put their mother in a nursing home, saying it would be the best place for her- and Ethan opposed this idea. And he would continue opposing this idea until the world ended. Cool air lingered between them over this particular matter ever since. So, two months prior, Caleb Knight stopped his trip in America and flew home to England to help his brother. Cal wouldn't really help his brother off of his own volition. But, he was helping their mother- and that was enough of a reason for him to come home.

Ethan and Cal rarely exchanged small-talk since then. They never really talked anyway; they only did in times of desperate need before Ethan called Cal about their mother. They only really talked about their mother. Cal was still insistent that their mother should be in a nursing home- getting proper care, but Ethan always opposed it with, ' _I'm a doctor, I can give her proper care'_. Cal just gave up. Ethan was stubborn about matters like this, and Cal knew he wasn't going to get anywhere.

Ethan made sure to make it seem as if nothing was wrong when he was working in the ED. He needed to be professional- have his mind on work the entire time. He couldn't let his home-life interfere with saving people in the ED. It was one of the risks, though. If you take your mind off of the job in hand, one of your patients could easily deteriorate, and you could be blamed. Ethan just needed to keep a cool head. Keep his work separate from his home, and keep his mind on the job.

Caleb had been suggesting coming and working in the ED beside him as he was currently job hunting- desperately needing a job. It was close to where he was staying (at Ethan's place), he had a glowing reference  _and_  experience in trauma. Ethan had obviously told Cal ' _no_ ' many times. That didn't stop Cal from asking him to put in a good word with the Clinical Lead- Zoe. Ethan definitely didn't want his brother working in the same place he worked. It was bad enough having him around at home, and, anyway, their mother needed the best care. If one day, Ethan and Cal had to work the same shift, then their mother wouldn't be cared for. Around the clock care was what she needed, and Ethan was sure that she would always receive that care.

Of course, Cal was jobless and needed to pay his way in the world. He could only hope St. James or somewhere would let him work there. He just had to convince his brother to put their mother in a nursing home.

Cal had also suggested getting someone from the agency to come in and look after her at home. Ethan objected that idea too.  _'I don't want strangers looking after her when we are more than capable'_ were his brother's words. This too sparked one of their many arguments, but Ethan wouldn't back down. Admittedly, Cal could see where his brother was coming from, but Ethan was also blinded by a son's love for his mother and couldn't see what was best for her obviously deteriorating state.

The one thing that always threw both the brothers- even though they were both doctors- was the fact that their mother had her moments when she couldn't remember who they were. Ethan and Cal had learned how to get through their mother's dementia, but as she was declining, their mood was too. She was becoming more and more reliable on them- on people she couldn't recognise half the time. It really did hurt them, but they were trying to managage through it.

So, Cal looked after her when Ethan was as work, and Ethan went straight home to take over the care and letting Cal lead a life. That cycle would repeat every day, and the brother's had gotten used to it; it was just the way things were nowadays.

It was halfway through Ethan's shift when things fell apart for him. He always wanted to keep his home life and work life separate. The two things were about to crash into one another, and Ethan certainly wasn't prepared.

"Ethan, I need you." Zoe told him, and Ethan obediently followed with Robyn at his side, ready to take on whoever the ambulance had picked up and brought to them. The three of them made their way outside and watched as Jeff opened the ambulance doors. Ethan nearly toppled back in both pure shock and surprise. Cal was holding an elderly woman's hand. A woman Ethan recognised as their mother. Dammit.

"Caleb? What happened?" He asked frantically as they unloaded the trolley. His brother turned to him- tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. Zoe turned to look at him- not giving Cal a chance to answer.

"You know him?" The clinical lead questioned. Ethan nodded slowly- taking in his mother's appearance. She looked so unwell, so pale. She looked like death.  _Please don't let her die_ , Ethan chanted in his head,  _please don't let her die._

"He…he's my brother…that's my mother…" The registrar explained as he stared down at the pale figure on the bed. Zoe took a couple of seconds to get over the initial shock, and then spoke again.

"Ethan, you can't treat her." Zoe told him sadly, placing a hand on his arm in reassurance. "You know the rules." Ethan shook his head.

"But…but she doesn't like strangers…" His voice was that of a strangled kind of plea. "They make her scared…" He said. "She…she's in the later stages of…er…of dementia…" The nurse currently standing there had a pitying look on her face. No wonder Ethan never went to the pub after work- no wonder he was always so keen to get home, no wonder he always looked worn out when arriving. It was because he was a carer for his mother.

"Ethan, you can't." Zoe repeated. "We'll get Lily. Lily can treat her instead. Yeah?" She comforted. Ethan gave up and nodded, stepping back and letting everyone else do their jobs.

"Right, this is Judith Knight, 67. Cal here called the ambulance after finding her unconscious in her bed." Ethan knew Jeff was continuing talking as they wheeled his mother through to the RECUS side room, but he just stood by the ambulance, watching his brother- who was still sat there- put his head in his hands and rub his hands up and down his face. Ethan couldn't tell whether it was because of sadness or frustration.

Ethan climbed into the ambulance and sat by his brother. "She'll be alright…I know she will…" He spoke uncertainly. Cal's head shot up and he looked fully at Ethan.

"She's dying, Ethan! Don't you get that? Our mother is dying! She should have been in a nursing home." Cal spat out, a stray tear making its way down his face. "She'd have received better care in a nursing home." Ethan stood up and walked back out of the ambulance. He looked back in and spoke harshly to his brother.

"We gave her perfect care. This isn't out fault! She's dying, I get it. We knew this will come eventually. But she never needed to be in a nursing home." Ethan walked out and went straight through to the RECUS side room to be with his mother. Cal climbed out of the ambulance and followed suit. He didn't want his mother to be alone. He wanted to be with her- especially if this day was the day she died.

"She has a DNR." Ethan spoke after watching Zoe, Lily and Robyn treating his mother for quite a while. Zoe smiled as if to say, ' _I know_ '. "But…but treat her as much as you can, yeah? You have to; I mean…she can't…" He trailed off- the thought of losing his mother finally hitting him like a baseball bat in the face.

Zoe walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "We're going to do everything we can for her, Ethan. Trust me."

Ethan held back a sob. "I do." He spoke. "Just…she can't die…" A tear fell onto his cheek and dripped onto the floor. Ethan didn't bother wiping it away; he was more focused on his mother.

The doors opened behind him and he saw his brother walk in with two coffees. He handed one to Ethan, and Ethan nodded his head in thanks. "What's…what's happening?" Cal asked Ethan- whispering as he tried not to cry.

"Pneumonia." His little brother told him. Cal gasped in shock. He didn't even notice that his  _own mother_  had pneumonia. Not only that, but his mother with  _dementia_  had pneumonia. "They're doing as much as they can for her." Ethan pointed out. Cal just nodded. There was nothing he felt he could say at this point in time.

Both the brothers were stood back, watching Lily, Zoe and Robyn treating their very sick mother. Both felt utterly powerless. They were both doctors and yet they couldn't save their own mother. It hurt. They weren't sure how long they were standing there for, but they could tell it was a long time.

Zoe approached them. "We've got her on some anti-biotics, but it's not looking good." She told them gravely. "Considering the late stage dementia…" She trailed off when she saw the knowing but sad looks of Ethan and Cal. "Being doctors, you know how this can turn out." They nodded. "Okay, well, she's comfortable. We'll leave you to it." She said finally as she, along with Lily and Robyn left- leaving just the brother's with their mother.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." Cal told Ethan, putting his coffee down and rushing off. Ethan saw the tears in his brother's eyes and correctly guessed he was going to compose himself a little bit. Neither of the openly expressed their emotions often- but Ethan just couldn't help it now, and neither could Cal.

"It's me mum, it's Ethan." The young man spoke as he sat down in a chair placed next to her. He also put his coffee down. Ethan hoped with everything he had that she would recognise him. Judith, who was now thankfully conscious, turned her head to look at the blonde man sitting on her right. Her brow creased up in confusion before she replied.

"I have a son with the same name as you. He's called Ethan too." She stated proudly, voice hoarse. "And one called Caleb." She continued. Ethan smiled sadly, tears pricking the corners of his eyes- threatening to fall.

"Really? Tell me about them." He knew better than to contradict his mother. She obviously didn't recognise him. So, he decided she can tell him all about him and his brother- the way they are in her head at the minute. As a doctor, Ethan knew she was coming to her last days. He hoped with everything he had that today wouldn't be the day. But, if it was, he would be sure to make it as peaceful for her as possible.

"Oh no!" She spoke in shock. "I have to pick them up from school…they're going to be waiting at the gate for ages if I don't pick them up-"

"-it's okay." Cal spoke soothingly as he entered RECUS. "I've just spoken to their father, he's picking them up." They both saw their mother let out a relieved breath and exchanged sad glances with each other. "Tell us about them."

"They're good boys." Her voice was one of a whisper now. They could tell she was growing tired. Ethan took one of her hands in his own- finding a sense of comfort in it. "Always looking for an excuse to fight one another."

Judith closed her eyes momentarily, drawing in a deep breath. She opened them again and saw someone was holding her hand. She looked up to find a familiar face smiling down at her, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Ethan, my son?" Ethan's eyes lit up. Did she recognise him? "Don't cry, my dear boy." She turned her head- finding pain even in that, and saw another familiar figure- seemingly upset too. "Caleb, by boy. Why do you two seem so upset?" Her voice seemed to be diminishing from a whisper. They could barely hear it. "Don't be upset, my sons." She coughed a little, pain spiking her chest and making her wince. She shut her eyes fully this time, and kept them closed. "Don't cry." She repeated. "Your mother's here. There's no need to cry. I'll always be here…" Judith told them comfortingly as she drifted off to sleep.

Cal and Ethan noticed her breathing evening out as she slept. She always looked peaceful when she slept. They could hear the steady beeping of the heart moniter in the background. They hoped, and oh Lord did they hope that it would slow even more, or even worse, it would have a long beep coming from it signaling the end of their mother's life.

"It's going to be weird without her." Cal whispered to his brother, tears making their way down his cheeks. Ethan nodded sadly in agreement.

"I'm sorry that I didn't agree to put her in a home." Ethan looked down at his mother, still holding her hand as if it was a life-line.

"It doesn't matter. She wouldn't have liked it anyway." Cal dismissed. He saw Ethan reach over to the heart moniter and knew he was turning it down ever so slightly- meaning the sound of the beeping was no longer loud, but just a quiet sort of background noise.

"I'm sure Zoe would want to hire you, you know." Ethan hinted, smiling slightly.

"Well then I better ask her." Cal said, also smiling ever so slightly in spite of everything.

Ethan and Cal both realised that there was a noise that didn't make sense. They looked towards the moniter and realised why. The noise was simply a long beeping noise- the line on the monitor flat.

"She…she has a DNR…" Ethan stated, choking back a sob. He slowly turned the moniter off and withdrew his hand from his mothers, head in his hands, crying softly. He heard, through his cries, movement in the room. Then he felt arms wrap around him. He looked up and saw Caleb. He too returned this gesture and their heads rested on each other's shoulders. Both of them were now crying slightly, tears flowing freely. Their mother was gone, and she was never coming back. It hurt them, it made them feel empty, but they were- for now- safe in each other's arms, and they found a little bit of comfort it that. Their mother was gone, but they were together.


End file.
